Christmas Morning at Grandma's: Early Risers and Naps

When grandchildren stay over for Christmas, expect at least one of them to be up around 5am, and don’t try to stop it with a later bedtime. Agree a “Christmas starts at” time with the parents before anyone arrives. Put Christmas Eve bedtime at the usual hour or a little earlier. Have a dark, dull plan for the hour before the start time. Then build Christmas Day around the nap, not the other way round. The early start is coming either way. The nap is what decides whether you get a happy dinner or an overtired one.

Why the 5am wake-up happens at Grandma’s

I have hosted Christmas for the grandchildren for several years now, and more than once the first one has been up before five. It wasn’t the light. At five on a December morning it is dark nearly everywhere in the country. It was three other things.

Excitement at bedtime. The NHS page on helping a baby sleep puts it plainly: “Too much excitement and stimulation just before bedtime can wake your child up again.” Christmas Eve is the most exciting bedtime of the year.

A strange room. At grandma’s house every sound is new: the furnace, the old floorboards, an uncle making tea at midnight.

The lightest sleep of the night. Betteroo’s guide on why little ones wake before six explains that roughly 4 to 6 am is dominated by light sleep, when “any small disruption” can tip a child into waking for good. On Christmas morning there are a lot of small disruptions.

So you will not prevent it entirely. What you can do is make the early hour boring, and stop it from ruining the rest of the day.

Settle the start time with the parents first

This is the most useful ten minutes of the whole holiday. Before anyone packs, I ask the parents three things:

1. What time does Christmas start? That is the time the children may come out and see what’s under the tree. In our family it is 6:30. Some families choose 7.
2. What happens if they’re up before then? Back to bed with a book, quiet in the room with a parent, or a stocking at the foot of the bed. For children old enough, a stocking of quiet things (a book, crayons, a tangerine) buys a peaceful half hour. For a baby under one, the crib stays bare, as it does every night.
3. Who gets up with them? Usually it’s a parent. In my house the person who gets up at five also gets the first coffee, and nobody argues about it.

Then I stick to it. If I let a grandchild into the living room at 5:15 because they’re so excited, the parents get a child who is falling apart by lunch, and that is my doing. My sleepover at grandma’s checklist rests on the same rule: run their schedule, not a special one.

Christmas Eve: a normal bedtime, not a late one

It’s tempting to keep them up for the lights, the late service or the cousins arriving at nine. But a late bedtime doesn’t give you a late morning. The Betteroo guide calls overtiredness from a too-late bedtime “one of the most common causes of early waking.” Putting a child down late on Christmas Eve is the surest way to get a 4:45 start.

What works in my house:

• Big fun in the daytime, quiet after supper. The cookie decorating, the walk to see the lights and the parcel-opening from faraway relatives all happen before dinner.
• The usual bedtime routine, in the usual order. HealthyChildren’s sleep guidance from the American Academy of Pediatrics suggests making sleep routines you can use anywhere, “so you can help your child get to sleep wherever you may be.” Bath, book, song: the same steps they have at home.
• The reindeer food and the note to Santa go out before pajamas, not as a last exciting thing at the bedroom door.
• White noise for the guest room. A white noise machine covers the creaky floor and the grown-ups talking downstairs.

For a baby, everything about safe sleep at grandma’s house applies on Christmas Eve too: flat crib or play yard, nothing in it, back to sleep. I keep the rules in one place in safe sleep rules for grandparents.

The 5am plan

When the first grandchild appears at the bedroom door, the job is to make the next hour as unexciting as possible.

• Keep the lights low and voices quiet. Don’t start Christmas early.
• Have a ready-to-rise light if they use one at home. If the child uses a clock that changes colour when it’s time to get up, ask the parents to pack it. If they don’t own one, an OK-to-wake clock like the LittleHippo Mella can be set to the agreed start time, so the clock gives the answer instead of Grandma.
• Stockings, books or a parent’s lap until the start time. Not the tree, not the presents, not the television.
• Breakfast before presents, if the family does that. In our house a plate of something warm takes the edge off the wait.

The Betteroo guide’s advice for any early wake is to “keep the room dark and quiet, keep interactions calm and low key, and avoid turning on lights or starting the day early.” That goes double on Christmas morning.

A holiday plan that still has naps in it Betteroo builds a sleep schedule for a little one's age, so the parents arrive at Grandma's knowing the bedtime and nap times to hold. Take the sleep quiz →

The Christmas Day nap still has to happen

After a 5am start, a child who still naps needs that nap more than any present. Skipping it is the most common way Christmas dinner falls apart in my family.

Plan dinner around the nap. If the toddler naps at 12:30, dinner is at 4, not 2. Grown-ups can wait for turkey. A two-year-old can’t wait for sleep.

Same place, same steps. The nap goes in the room where they slept last night, with the same sleep sack and white noise. Not on a sofa in a busy living room.

Expect it to come early. After a 5am start, a nap that usually starts at 12:30 may need to start at 11:30. Watch the child, not the clock.

Have a back-up. If the nap fails, a quiet drive after lunch often works. For a baby who sleeps best in motion, my post on babies who only nap in motion has the safe way to handle a car-seat nap.

For preschoolers who have dropped the nap, give them a quiet hour in a room with books and the door half open. Even without sleep, a rest stops the four o’clock meltdown.

Christmas night: early to bed

The day after is part of the plan too. After an early start and a big day, put them to bed early on Christmas night, earlier than usual if the parents agree. In my family, one early bedtime does more to rescue the next morning than hoping they’ll sleep in.

If the family is staying several days, the rest is in my sleep plan for a week at grandma’s house.

FAQ: Christmas morning with the grandkids

Should I let the grandkids stay up late on Christmas Eve?

I wouldn’t. A late bedtime tends to bring an earlier wake-up, not a later one. Keep bedtime at the normal time, or a little earlier after a busy day.

What time should Christmas morning start at grandma’s?

Whatever the parents choose. Agree it before the visit and stick to it. 6:30 or 7 is common.

What if the toddler skips the nap on Christmas Day?

Try a quiet drive or a quiet hour, then move bedtime earlier that night. One missed nap is not a disaster; it just needs an early bedtime to make up for it.

Can a sleep app help with holiday sleep?

If the parents already use one, it helps everyone run the same plan. With Betteroo, grandma and the parents both have the child’s bedtime and nap times in front of them, for about $20 a month.