Christmas Traditions With Grandkids They'll Beg to Repeat

The Christmas traditions with grandchildren that last are small, simple and tied to a day. Think the same book in the same chair, cookie day on the same Saturday, one ornament for each grandchild every year, or a walk to look at the lights in pajamas. Pick one or two that a two-year-old can do and you can keep up for twenty years, rather than ten that collapse by the third December. Then clear them with the parents first, because Christmas Eve and Christmas morning usually belong to their house, not ours.

Thirty-one years of classroom Decembers taught me something. Children don’t remember the elaborate project. They remember the thing that happened again. The second year, a four-year-old says “we always do this.” By the third year, it’s law.

First, agree on whose day is whose

Before you plan anything, ask the parents three questions:

Which days are theirs? Most young families want Christmas Eve and Christmas morning at home, and sometimes the whole day. That’s fair.
Which day could be yours? A Saturday in early December is easier to protect than the 24th, and the baby’s nap survives it.
What do they already do? If they read The Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve, don’t read it to the children first. Choose a different book.

If the grandchildren do sleep over at your house for Christmas, my guide to Christmas morning at Grandma’s covers the 5 a.m. wake-up and the nap that still has to happen.

The tradition test

Before you commit to anything, check three things:

Can the youngest do some part of it? If the baby can only watch this year, that still counts.
Can it happen every year, wherever everyone lives? A tradition that needs everyone in your kitchen dies the year someone moves away.
Is it over in an afternoon? Little children love a short tradition and resent a long one.

Babies: keepsakes for later

Babies won’t remember the first year, but the parents will, and the photos will.

A handprint ornament each year. A no-bake clay kit like the Pearhead Babyprints ornament kit is quick work with a sleepy baby. Write the year on the back, hang them in a row, and by year five you can see how much the hands have grown.
The same photo in the same spot. Use the same armchair by the tree each December. It’s the cheapest tradition there is and the one families treasure most.
One song, sung every time. Pick one carol you sing every time you hold the baby near the tree. Toddlers who hear the same tune every time often join in.

Toddlers (one to three): the same thing, again

The Christmas book, read in the same chair. A sturdy board book of The Night Before Christmas survives being “read” by a two-year-old. Read it in your chair, every visit in December, and keep it at your house.
The lights walk. Bundle up after an early supper and walk, or drive slowly, past the brightest houses on your street. Get home before bedtime.
A low tree for little hands. KidsHealth suggests letting children decorate within their reach with non-breakable items and keeping breakable ornaments, lightbulbs and tinsel out of reach. A small tabletop tree of wooden and felt ornaments that a toddler can rearrange forty times saves your good tree.
A nativity they’re allowed to touch. For families who celebrate it, a toddler-safe set such as the Fisher-Price Little People Nativity lets a small child act out the story. The breakable set stays up on the mantel.

Preschoolers (three to five): hands in the dough

Cookie day. Make the same cookie on the same Saturday, every year. Sugar cookies with sprinkles are hard to fail. My guide to baking with grandkids has the age-by-age jobs and the raw-dough rule that has changed since we were young.
A graham cracker house. Real gingerbread houses defeat most four-year-olds and plenty of grandmothers. A box of Honey Maid graham crackers, a tub of icing and a bowl of candy is the right scale. Betteroo has toddler-friendly builds around a milk carton that can’t collapse.
An activity countdown. Instead of 24 chocolates, try 24 small jobs: sing one carol, make a paper snowflake, phone Grandpa, put out seed for the birds. Betteroo keeps a 24-day list of small activities to borrow. If you run it at your house, agree with the parents who opens the doors on the days the children are at home.

Fives and sixes: a real job

This is the age when they start to want a real job.

Grandma’s helper for the family dinner. A six-year-old can fold the napkins, set out the place cards she drew, and carry the bread basket. Give her the same job every year.
The giving tradition. Each grandchild picks one gift for a child they don’t know, through a toy drive at your church, library or school, and helps carry it in. Keep it small and let them choose.
Your family’s dish, or your family’s word. If your family has a Christmas Eve dish, a carol in another language or a name for Santa from the old country, teach it now. This is the age when they’ll ask why.

Long-distance grandmas: same date, new format

Distance doesn’t cancel any of this. It changes the format.

The same book on the same night, over video. Pick a story and read it to the camera on, say, the second Sunday in December, every year. My guide to reading to grandkids over video covers the camera setup and page-turning.
The ornament in the mail. Send one ornament per child, wrapped, to arrive on the first of December. It counts as a tradition by the second year.
Cookies by post. Choose a sturdy recipe, such as shortbread, and mail a tin on the same week each year.

December at Grandma's, naps intact Betteroo builds an age-based sleep plan the parents can share with you, so cookie day ends with a nap instead of a meltdown. Take the sleep quiz →

A few safety notes for a December house

KidsHealth’s holiday safety page names mistletoe, holly, bittersweet, Jerusalem cherry and amaryllis as toxic if eaten, so keep holiday plants up high. Stay in the room while candles are lit, and put them out before bed. Watch remotes and electronic toys with button batteries, which KidsHealth calls very dangerous if swallowed. Bowls of nuts and candies on a low table are a choking hazard for small children.

When a tradition stops working

Sometimes a tradition runs its course. The cookie day turns into a fight, or the drive to the lights is too long for a new baby. You’re allowed to drop it, or to shrink it. Nobody remembers the year you skipped the gingerbread. What they remember is that Grandma was there and that something always happened. If presents are part of your tradition, my Christmas gifts for grandkids guide has the “ask the parents first” rule that keeps everyone happy.

FAQ: Christmas traditions with grandkids

What are good Christmas traditions for grandparents to start?

Choose something small that repeats: a book read in the same chair, a cookie day, a handprint ornament each year or a walk to see the lights. One or two is plenty.

Ask the parents which days are theirs. Most want Christmas Eve and Christmas morning at home, so a December Saturday at Grandma’s is often the easiest day to keep.

What Christmas traditions work for long-distance grandparents?

A story read over video on the same night each year, an ornament mailed for the first of December, or a tin of cookies sent the same week every year.

When should grandparents start a Christmas tradition?

As early as you like. Repetition is what makes a tradition stick. A four-year-old who has done something two years running will often tell you “we always do this,” so start early and keep it simple.