Loose Tooth at Grandma's: The Tooth Fairy Night Plan

When a grandchild’s wobbly tooth comes out at your house, call the parents before you do anything else. The tooth fairy belongs to their family: they decide whether she visits Grandma’s tonight or the tooth goes home in an envelope, and what she leaves. Don’t pull a tooth that isn’t ready. Put the tooth in a small lidded box on the nightstand rather than under the pillow. Keep bedtime exactly as usual. And leave any coin where a younger cousin in the same room can’t reach it. If a fall knocks a tooth out, that’s a call to the dentist, not to the fairy.

When to expect the wobble

The American Academy of Pediatrics’ page on losing baby teeth says baby teeth “ordinarily are shed first at about age 6,” starting with the middle teeth in front. So if you have a five- or six-year-old who sleeps over, sooner or later the first wobble will happen on your watch. It usually happens about an hour before bedtime, while they’re eating an apple.

The AAP explains why a loose tooth comes out so easily. The adult tooth underneath dissolves the baby tooth’s roots, so by the time it’s wobbly “there is little holding them in place besides a small amount of tissue.”

Call the parents first

I learned this one the hard way with my second grandchild. It was her first tooth. Her mother had been looking forward to it for weeks, and she heard about it the next morning, from me, after the fact. Nobody was cross, but I could hear what she’d missed.

So before bath time, I phone. Three questions settle the whole evening:

1. Does the fairy come to Grandma’s, or does the tooth come home? Some families want the magic at their own house, especially for a first tooth. Then the tooth travels home in a little box and the child is told the fairy will find it there.
2. What does she leave in your house? Every family has its own fairy, with her own rate, her own notes and her own habits. I copy theirs exactly. The worst thing a grandmother can do is out-fairy the parents with a five-dollar bill that sets a new going rate.
3. Do you do the tooth fairy at all? Some families don’t. That’s their call, and the tooth is still a big deal without her.

This is the same rule I use for everything when I’m babysitting the grandchildren: their child, their rules, my house.

Hands off a tooth that isn’t ready

Children mostly do this job themselves. The AAP page says they “usually wiggle their teeth loose with their tongues or fingers.” If the tooth is hanging by a thread and the child asks for help, the AAP’s advice is to “grasp it firmly with a piece of tissue or gauze and remove it with a quick twist.”

If it isn’t that loose, leave it alone. No string on the doorknob, and no uncle offering to “just get it out.” The same page notes that a dentist may suggest taking out a baby tooth that isn’t loosening on its own, which makes that a decision for the parents and the dentist. It isn’t one for Grandma at 7 p.m.

Where the tooth sleeps

Baby teeth are tiny, and a tooth under a pillow tends to end up somewhere in the sheets by 2 a.m. MouthHealthy, the American Dental Association’s family site, suggests a tooth fairy dish as “a sweet alternative to the under-the-pillow trick,” and adds that it is “much easier to access.” The person who has to make the swap in the dark will be glad of that.

At my house it’s a small wooden tooth box with a lid on the nightstand. The lid matters. The tooth can’t roll off, and if it’s going home tomorrow it’s already packed.

Bedtime on a big night

A child who has just lost a tooth is about as wound up as a child gets. The temptation is to let the evening run long because it’s special. Don’t. The fairy’s visit goes much more smoothly with a child who is properly asleep.

• Same routine, same order. Bath, pajamas, teeth, story, lights out, whatever the parents do. The AAP says children may need help brushing until somewhere between 7 and 10, so I help, and I go gently round the new gap.
• Pick one calm story, not three. Betteroo has a guide to choosing calmer bedtime stories that’s useful on exactly these nights. Avoid anything about fairies tonight.
• Let them talk, then end the talk. Ten minutes of tooth chatter is lovely. After that, I say, “The fairy will be here when you’re asleep, and not before,” and I leave.

If they’re staying the whole weekend, the rest of my sleepover at grandma’s plan applies as usual. A tooth night is a sleepover with one extra job.

Big night, same bedtime Betteroo builds a sleep schedule for a child's age, so Grandma and the parents keep the same bedtime, even on a tooth fairy night. Take the sleep quiz →

Mind the cousin in the next bed

At a grandmother’s house the six-year-old with the gap is often sharing a room with a two-year-old cousin. That changes what the fairy leaves and where she leaves it. The AAP’s choking prevention page lists coins among the household items to keep away from infants and young children, along with small toys and button batteries.

So a coin goes inside the closed tooth box, not loose on the nightstand or under a pillow. Or the fairy leaves her gift on the breakfast table, out of the toddler’s reach.

When it isn’t a wobble

A tooth knocked out by a fall off the climbing frame is a different evening. The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry’s guide to childhood tooth injuries says that when a baby tooth is knocked out, you should contact the pediatric dentist “as soon as possible,” rinse the mouth with water, use cold compresses for swelling, and spend time “comforting the child rather than looking for the tooth.” It is firm that baby teeth “should not be replanted,” because putting one back can damage the adult tooth developing underneath.

Call the parents straight away, too. The AAP page notes that a baby tooth lost early “by decay or accident” can let the adult tooth come in early or crooked, so the dentist will want to know. The fairy can still visit, but she comes second.

The morning after

A photo of the gap goes to the parents before breakfast, with the tooth box packed in the overnight bag. For the card or the scrapbook, there’s a lost-tooth line in my granddaughter quotes, and the boys get theirs in grandson quotes.

FAQ: a loose tooth at grandma’s house

Should grandma play tooth fairy?

Only after asking the parents. Many families want the first tooth at home. If the fairy does visit Grandma’s, copy the family’s usual gift and note exactly.

Should I pull my grandchild’s loose tooth?

Only if it’s already very loose and the child asks. The AAP suggests gripping it with tissue or gauze and using a quick twist. If it isn’t ready, leave it for the parents and dentist.

What age do kids lose their first tooth?

The American Academy of Pediatrics says baby teeth are ordinarily shed first at about age 6, starting with the middle front teeth. If a grandchild loses one much earlier after a fall, mention it to the parents.

What if a fall knocks out a grandchild’s baby tooth?

Contact the child’s pediatric dentist as soon as possible and call the parents. Don’t put a baby tooth back in the socket. Comfort the child first; finding the tooth can wait.

Where should the tooth go overnight?

In a small closed box or dish on the nightstand, rather than under the pillow. It’s easier to find in the dark, and a lid keeps it, and any coin, away from younger cousins.